The fine print…

Dear Leah:

There are things that nobody warns you about before you become mom for the first time. Things that normally are taken for granted, or simply people prefer not to stress for the sake of the survival of the species. Details that are ignored   – deliberately or not – by the childbirth preparation courses and by the media, because they  prefer to sweeten the senses of the pregnant through a beautiful single speech about motherhood exaltation. It is the fine print of a new and perpetual state in which we entered when we conceive. Minor details such as that the so called “painless childbirth” does not exist, is not mentioned anywhere. Because, regardless how much we have progressed over the previous generations (plus the grace of the blessed epidural), giving birth hurts. It actually burns, rather than hurts.  That pain is so bestial, so heartbreaking, that your new “me” wakes up in order to stay with you forever: this new “me” is the “me, the mammal”. Therefore, the delicate and civilized woman that walked through the door of the hospital, suddenly disappears to become the “female”. As if you were a ‘transformer’, a distortion is produced inside you in order to give way to a new life. But do not panic. I assure you that it is the most beautiful pain you will ever feel, and it will be the necessary prelude of the happiest moment of your life: The moment when you see his face for the first time. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, compared with the state of ecstasy in which you enter when your baby is placed on your breast.  In a matter of seconds, his smell, his tears, and the way he moves his tiny hands, will be recorded forever in your brain’s hard drive. The same will happen to your husband, while he tries to control his trembling legs.  Then, there will be no trace of pain. Only indescribable happiness.


But, dear friends, once you return home, everything gets tougher. With some sore points remaining and with you breasts about to burst due to the rising milk, you will ask yourself:  “What should I do with this small thing?”. As if it were a programmed torture, that “small thing” will wake you up every half hour with an unreadable crying. Hungry? Gases?? Pis?? Reflux? Then, you will doubt about the quality of your milk, about whether you are doing the breastfeed correctly, or if you should use the bottle,…And dozens of friendly voices will emerge with advice that, in most cases, will only enhance your insecurities . The rush of endorphins in your body that fought the ravages of childbirth will give way to a hormonal revolution of unpredictable consequences, such as the “puerperium blues”. Unpredictable consequences such as the unreasonable tears, the spontaneous sadness, the “I’ll never be again” feeling, the love, I love you … Peace. Many women went through all these before (although not many speak about it). Relax and enjoy the great pleasure of feeding your children, with no timers, no control of hours or days. Because timers are for sports. And breathe. Sleep when your baby does. Listen to music. Walk outside. And restringe the visits. Your partner, you and your babies. You do not need anything else. And if an unexpected visit shows up, he rather comes with a hot soup rather than with a teddy bear. Queridas, lo mejor está por llegar… Disfrutadlo!

Pd: dedicated to Lola?? Erik?? and Alejandra.




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